Strength

I threw black belt today. Yes, it was a wimpy little white belt throw, but I did it.

I sit here while my restorative yoga class cooks in their poses almost in tears. Feeling so weak, so overwhelmed by many of the circumstances of my life.  So helpless, tearful even. There are things beyond my control,  and I want to control them. There are random things that make me cry, like the end of the book of Mark. Like this class right now. Like the construction at my home. Like my age and my husband's age. Like my children who I cannot save or help. Like my parents that are always getting older. Like my anxiety.

But in the middle of this feeling of weakness I remember, I threw a black belt today. And that grounds me, centers me, reminds me that I am strong. I can do this thing called life even when I feel weak.